The fall – part 1

Cahpter 2 – The fall


Man: Hello?

Me: Hi, I’m Matteo, I’m calling about my mother, I need some help!

Man: Yes, we are aware of your situation, what is the problem?

Me: She’s in her bed, breathing heavily with her eyes open…

Man: Have you tried calling out her name?

ME: Yes, I did but I’m not sure if she replied, it seemed like she did the first time; but I’m really not sure.

Man: Ok, do you want me to send someone?

Me: Yes, please.

I hung up, and went back to the room. She was still there, breathing, with her eyes wide open, staring at her life or probably at nothing.

I asked myself many times if she really answered me the first time I called out to her. I wasn’t lying when I answered the man’s question the way I did because, when I started to act, I started thinking back to the strange sound that I heard at first, that made me go and check, and also at the very first time I called out to my mother, when she made that sound again, or at least this is what I started to think: Had I really heard something? Did she ask for help?

For many of the following years, I relived that morning again, and I always asked myself if I could have done something different, she was alive at 7 o’clock in the morning.

I called my brother.

Me: Ehy, our mother is in a very bad condition, I called the doctor and they’re coming, probably also an ambulance, but she’s not responding…

My brother: Ok, stay calm, I’m coming.

Me: Ok, ciao.


Me: Yes?

Young lady: Hi, I’m the doctor.

Me: Hi, seventh floor.

I opened the door.

Me: Thanks for coming, she’s in bed… please follow me.

Doc: Yes, a nurse is arriving, did she say something?

Me: No, I don’t know, I don’t think so.

Doc: What’s her name?

Me: Clara

Doc (from beside the bed): Clara, can you hear me? Clara?

Has she eaten anything?

Me: Not much, we woke up, I tried to give her something but she didn’t want anything. She’s really weak, can we give her an intravenous drip?

Doc: Yes, when the nurse arrives.


Doc: It’s the nurse. Wait for me here, please, I’ll go downstairs and ask him to bring up everything we need.

I stood by the open door. I really don’t know for how long. In my mind, it was only seconds.

Me: Hi.

Nurse: Hi, how are you?

Me: …

He was a young guy, not an handsome guy but apparently a player and he was totally into the young doctor, they were talking to each other about the night before and some strange episode happened during their previous shift.

Was I inside fucking Gray’s Anatomy? I hate that show.

I stayed in the dining room the nurse and the doctor went into my mother’s room. Always talking and laughing. I think that’s the only way to do a job like that, pretending not to care, and I respect them.

The doctor came into the dining room and suddenly she became really serious.

Doc: Matteo?

Me: Yes.

Doc: You know that your mother is in a very bad

Me: Yes, I know.

Doc: So you are prepared.

Me: Yes

Doc: Ok, I don’t know what will happen and when, I can’t tell you if it will be quick or not, so you have to decide. She can stay here or I can call an ambulance and take her to the hospital.

Me: What if she stays here?

Doc: Well, you have to keep her here…

Me: … no please, call an ambulance.


Me: Yes?

Man: This is the ambulance, the doctor called us.

Me: Yes please, seventh floor.

Suddenly the house was full of people. All talking to each other, very calmly. The two girls from the ambulance knew the young nurse; he was definitely a player.

Ambulance guy: Ok, we have to take her to the hospital. There is no space in the elevator so we have to take her down with a blanket. (to one of the girls) Go down and prepare the gurney.

They carried my mother as though she was a sitting in a chair…

Me: Can I follow you?

Ambulance Guy: Yes of course, do you want to come with us?

Me: No, I’ll take my car.

I took my stuff. Got into the elevator with the doctor.

DOC: Are you ok?

Me: Yes, I’m fine! Thanks for coming.

She smiled at me.

I rushed into the garage to take my car.  It was blocked by another car on the side, as always, so I had to push my car out of its place.

I was worried that the ambulance would leave before me, so I tried to speed up.

Start the engine. Run.

The ambulance was still there, they were almost ready.

Opened the gate, the ambulance was just in front, they switched on the sirens and they left. I was right behind.

500 metres later, they slowed down.


I’m gonna steal the ending from the beginning of a great movie, please forgive me:

“Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?

On his way down past each floor, he kept saying to reassure himself:

So far so good… so far so good…

So far so good.

How you fall doesn’t matter.

It’s how you land!”